1. Here are some sites that TOOFIF recommends
    (not in order of preference!)

  2. Your suggestions will swell the list.

  3. The name speaks for it really!

  4. http://hammyend.com/

  5. The Independent Fulham Forum, they’ve been around for a while now.

  6. http://www.voy.com/13865/

  7. A one-stop site for up to date Fulham news trawled from all over the web

  8. http://www.newsnow.co.uk/h/Sport/Football/Championship/Fulham

  9. Stats site, according to EUFA’s Team Rankings, odd to see Wigan ranked at 101 and West Ham 108 with Sampdoria at 123!

  10. https://kassiesa.home.xs4all.nl/bert/uefa/data/method4/trank2017.html

  11. Take a sniff of nostalgia back to when when bad music ruled (it’s a tongue in cheek homage), nobody born after 1960 need apply!

  12. www.dirtypantsband.com

  13. Coulio's brilliant T-shirt site

  14. www.cultzeros.co.uk

  15. Visit the Fulhamish Blogsite for news and views, download the app for your Tablet or ‘phone and listen anywhere. Our Editor features in the QPR match preview interview

  16. https://www.fulhamish.co.uk

  17. Friends of Fulham, quite obvious what this site is for!

  18. https://www.friendsoffulham.com

  19. This site has some excellent historical photos of Craven cottage and other stadiums

  20. http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/fulham/171403/the-black-and-white-years-scorching-vintage-photos-of-fulhams-craven-cottage-between-1923-1978.html

  21. A fan’s site that’s been around for 20 years now

  22. http://www.fulhamweb.co.uk

Contact TOOFIF

You never know, you might need to drop us a line to:

a).    Tell us we’re rubbish

b).     Protest that we’re often unfair to some of our rivals

c).     Perhaps, send us an article or ‘photos

d).     Correct an inaccuracy on the site or the Fanzine

  1. e)    Even more unlikely, compliment us for something

  2. f)    Just to say hello.

To make it simple, here are the various methods you can use:

  1. e-mail the Fanzine

  2. dml@toofif.co.uk

  1. e-mail the Site

  2. billp@toofif.co.uk

  1. Snail Mail

  2. There’s Only One F in Fulham
    11 Johnson’s Close, Carshalton, Surrey SM5 2LU


There’s only one F in Fulham

The Fulham Fanzine Home Page

Want to contribute to the site?

Send us anything you’d like to see here, images, stories, Fulhamish articles or any old thing, just send it to me at billp@toofif.co.uk by clicking this link.

  1. To say there’s much at stake is an understatement however, on their day Fulham can beat anyone in the Championship so let’s travel and enjoy!

  2. As for other chat, the usual invented stories about players being poached by the ‘Big Teams’ is something of a year long sport for every media source. From tabloid sports writers, Terrestrial TVn big shots, Cable, Satellite, blogging internet chatterboxes, Twitter and every outlet on the airwaves it’s par for the course.

  3. I’ll not even bother going into specifics with the rubbish around Ryan Sessegnon, Ryan Fredericks, Tom Cairney, Mitro, Targett, Tim Ream etc here,  just see the Media page. Although I couldn’t resist a piece of satire further below.

Ok, if you haven’t already discovered this, these three logos in the header navigate back, home and next.

  1. Ok, yes it’s another relaunch, sort of. This time a very modest attempt though. There’ll be some up regular small updates on as daily a basis as is possible stolen from the broader news avenues but tinged with a relevant TOOFIF comment here and there.

  2. Odd really, I’ve been there through thick and thin as a lover of FFC, ok, mostly thin since the year dot but the last few seasons have really tested my whole Fulham Supporting life That said, the second half of last season was a wonderful revelation,

  3. The first months of this season were definitely not confidence inspiring, inconsistent and sometimes disjointed, all the old evils were in plain view but to say that a revelation came about at the end of last year seems even more unbelievable than the previous season’s revival.

  4. For the season to transform, once the restrictions of a non-football phoney’s influence on transfers was finally resolved, was very revealing. It seemed that a veil had been lifted and a new swagger was brought to the surface. Tim Ream became a major part of the defence, the new blood brought in over the January window slotted in brilliantly.

  5. Best of all, the nature of our play almost instantly did the impossible, it was pretty, intelligent, skillful and effective and away fixtures were no longer dreaded, a draw seemed a loss, the last time we experienced these sort of feelings seemed stone age history.

  6. Losing has never put me off, that’s a given or I would probably have given up even before I was old enough to know better. No, first I grew to resent the Premier-led mentality of the way football is served up in the SKY-Years, then the fact that some of those serving the clubs and being paid ridiculous amounts of money to put on the shirt didn’t alway display the sort of commitment that others showed.

  7. That the armchair fan in some far-flung continent is more valuable now to the Money Men running English football, than even a moderately interested attended in person follower at an English stadium, notwithstanding those sufferers who’ve been going to games for years, home, away or both, also stuck in the craw somewhat.

  8. Anyway, rant over, my love for Fulham is undiminished, I might hate what I watch rather a lot  and being an old fogey now I suppose that comes with the territory, but Craven Cottage  has such a strong hold over me that whatever else I’m still here.

  9. So here is a sort of a relaunch of the TOOFIF site for the second time again.By the time the season has ended this whole site will have been transferred into my new web creation software, it’ll look pretty much the same but should be easier to run

  1. When David and I first chatted about a web representation for TOOFIF to supplement the Mag’, I must confess that I was unsure as to how we could really develop it. For starters,

  2. the TOOFIF publication is 100% a labour of love and literally, blood, sweat and tears for Mr Lloyd and with the time, commitment and his own financial input, there was no way we could reproduce each printed magazine in facsimile on the internet.

  3. We hadn’t intended to give match reports or host a message board. That stuff is more than adequately catered for elsewhere, though I did eventually post weekly biased TOOFIF match reports and published those from contributors but this became unbelievably time consuming, another reason I halted work on the site. Therefore, from now on there will probably be some of those but not a concise report of every game. We’ll just give a brief TOOFIF slant to all things FFC with a highlight on the Cottage which is a burning issue to all of us obviously at the moment.

  4. That’s it really, I’ll update this front page regularly and maybe re-instate some of the pages that we had before, like the Fans’ pics and images supplied from contributors regularly, it’s over to you lot to send stuff in so let me and David know what you want.

  5. Email: dml@toofif.co.uk     billp@toofif.co.uk

  6. Anyway, for now the pages relating to the Cottage are here, pertinent with what is going on at the moment! Just click the links in the heading bar, there is also a page of miscellaneous nonsense, not a lot yet but it will build as we progress with the site, click the TOOFIF Miscellany link to navigate there…

What a superb climax to the season and it's not over yet. It's great that the team have finally laid the hoodoo that has seen us fall at so many Playoff hurdles, we're actually in a Final at long last. The relief, disbelief and joy were apparent after the whistle at the Cottage but now we have to face up to the reality that the job's only half done, now we have to beat the villains, after all the hot air from their fans let's do it!.



For starters, there’s a brief review of the last match on the Biased Match Reviews page, more media comment on the What the Media are saying page  and I’ve resurrected one or two pages from the old site, use the navigation at the head of this Home Page.

The euphoria of having finally laid the ghost of our awful history of falling over in the Playoff semi-finals has slowly worn off to bring us up to date with reality now.

Whoopee, Wembley again, a superb day out in prospect, let’s hope the team can carry on with their winning ways, I’m relieved it’s Villa we face as they will try to play football which offers the prospect of an enjoyable clash.

The league fixtures left both teams victorious at home with us losing at Villa Park by the odd goal in three but winning by two goals with a clean sheet at home.

  1. Hopefully, by now one or two followers of Fulham, readers of TOOFIF, the accidental web surfer or the plain nosey may now be aware that the famous TOOFIF magazine has a relaunched website.

  2. It’s been redesigned from head to toe and re-sized to better fill current monitor shapes and sizes.

  3. The content is, at present, not terribly extensive, but will grow and in this hopefully you could contribute to help with this.

  4. This three column area will, for the time being, contain a word or two on the last game, maybe something about the upcoming game, general chit-chat and point to subjects contained elsewhere on this site (and perhaps, the web at large).  

On a completely different tack

Anyone remember the early days of Sky TV and their Sports  Football coverage in the early analogue days?

Subscribers could watch the games but select options for the soundtrack. In those pioneer days.

There were three choices:

  1. 1. Full Sky Commentary,

  2. 2. Fans’ commentary*

  3. 3. And best of all, no idiot commentary at all, just crowd noise.

*Sky had a fan from each team embedded in a subterranean studio , each with a microphone and with a camera filming them, side by side, watching on a monitor and screaming all sorts as the game progressed, that was rubbishly entertaining somehow.

In fact the Fanzine editor took part in a Fulham game, showing restraint in the face of the opposition representative, general it was a naff option.

Am I alone in wishing we had option.3 back as a choice?, after watching the game in the early hours after the return from Derby, I would have learned more without those ‘Experts’ all pontificating.

  1. About the current relaunch and the forthcoming one.

Fulham offered Ronaldo, Neymar,
De Gea, Monreal, Alonso, Messi, Walker,Cahill, John Terry, Hazard, Silva, Kroos, Modric and every other top three player in every position.

From a source close to the TOOFIF website 5 May 2018

In an exciting development, a source close to the players might have claimed that this is absolutely the truth

by Uri Affingalarf

It might be a fact unknown to the majority of football fans but it might have been that ever since he was a small boy according to someone.

Ronald MacDonald (who probably is known as Ronaldo) dreamt of playing football for London’s oldest club. The trouble is, his current employer is holding him fast to his current contract as a front man for a fast food chain, besides his clown shoes make running with the ball difficult. Taking this into account I reckon we can dismiss these rumours post haste.

The Messi connection, a source close to TOOIF drunkenly hinted at, is probably a definite decision made by a source unknown to the source, also that the other players are already undergoing extensive medical probing at a site close to somewhere near here.

A person who is not connected to the club told us “Yes mate, this is all 100% true if you want to believe it, at least it’s no less untrue than any other fabrications you’ll read elsewhere. These just happen to be superior fantasies, allegedly.

The official line from Fulham is a no comment, this proves it’s all factual, as we all know, there’s no smoke without fire.

TOOFIF’s take on this unexpected news is that it makes sense given the recent media attention around our players and loanees who are all definitely leaving at the end of this season to go to West Ham.

All of this is naturally absolutely true.

John Terry (pictured above and  left) is apparently very keen to return to the London Borough of Chelsea and Kensington where Fulham Football Club and Chelski both have their stadiums.

In an exclusive interview Terry apparently said, “Do what, speak up”.

His career said, as he wheeled Terry 92 back to his ambulance, “He’s very excited to  becoming home to the Pensioners, he can’t wait to meet up with old mate Wayne Bridge and his lady”.

An unusual Fuhamish day out at Derby

A tour of the sites of West London from Motspur Park via Hampton Court, Ealing and all points in between for a lucky few en route to the M1.

We had a marathon journey even before the trials and tribulations of a game!

billp TOOFIF 12 May 2018 at 12:18

The scenic route   
The usual route

Some of of us, on one of the Supporters’ coaches from Motspur Park, were not as surprised as the majority, when on entering the A3 at Tolworth, instead of heading on to the A3 to take the M25 round to directions North, we went off at the earlier Esher/Stains slip road.

After all, one of our party had come straight to the rendezvous via the M25 from the Heathrow direction and told us that the North Bound lanes were completely blocked for miles as there’d been a bad shunt.

What did baffle us was that we then took in every residential road and high street having crossed the Thames at Hampton Court via the Dittons,.

We then turned left before Kingston Bridge, through Teddington, Twickenham, Hanwell, Ealing, Brentford. All this in the midst of Friday afternoon shopping and school traffic.

To top it all we went in the wrong direction during this Magical Mystery Tour coming back wit a 360 degrees circuit of a roundabout to pass Twickenham Stadium once again from an angle normally only seen by residents behind the place. We reached the North Circular eventually and finally made the M1 at Staples Corner after 105 minutes on the bus.

I think by this time, we realised that Friday May 11 2018 was probably not going to be our day.

Some sort of Match report can be found on the Biased Match Reviews page



Yup, TOOFIF’s back again!

A sort of catch-up

  1. billp TOOFIF Site updated 19 May 2018 at 12:22

TOOFIF’s modest ramblings on matches have been relocated  to pages called ‘TOOFIF Biased Match Reviews & Old TOOFIF Match Reviews’ click to go straight there.

What a tense night that turned out to be, at times Fulham were magnificent, at others they were nervy and accident prone,Derby looked ordinary mostly but always dangerous coming forward.

Our guys certainly put us through the mangle again but to end up winning with two goals an a clean sheet certainly did the job despite a very nervy run in to the final whistle after doubling the home lead.

No match review here but I’ll add a biased account later in the relevant sectionSo there we have it, a few of us will be having a second visit to Wembley following the Whites, who said there’s no Santa Claus!!


Any of us with a history of attending football games will testify that whatever the occasion, the purchase of a ticket will never be a one minute affair, and the bigger the game, the longer the wait and the bigger the aggravation. Just ask Sandra Cole and Tracy and any FFC Ticket Office personnel from the last couple of decades if you want to hear how stressful it is from the other side of the counter, it’s even worse!

However, ever since we’ve had to use Ticketmaster for away tickets, Cup tickets etc, I have never had a clear run, everybody in my Fulham circle have expressed exactly the same woes.

The Hamburg Final was a good example and I forget how much my phone bill was after al the lengthy hanging on the line, home phone batteries expiring, mobile signal dropping, home line dropped connections, queue waiting and so I went through before I got a ticket fro one of my sons. I’d got my mob’s tickets at the Ticket Office in a jiffy, Simon hadn’t informed me he had arranged time off until I came home with the other tickets! It was a costly, time consuming and wasteful process.

it has become even worse, I’ve missed out on Reading Playoff semi final away tickets, Birmingham away League tickets, you name it I’ve suffered like so many.

The Loyalty Points System is as about as fair a way of allocating tickets for special games as there is, no argument there but the actual process of acquiring those tickets doesn’t seem adequate.

For instance, I am lucky in that I have access to Windows PCs, Macs , various ‘phones and I run every one simultaneously  when applying for tickets.

This morning I logged on and phoned at 09:30, then re-applied each time I was thwarted because I was too early, at 10:00, the Mac had started exactly the same time as Windows 10. 10:30 arrived and the Macs till had two thirds of the Circular timeline graphic filled, Windows 10 running on the Mac under an emulation software had around 5 minutes remaining. Both of these then rendered a message telling me the session had timed out.

All this while, Mobile and Landline consistently told me “Call Failed”/”Number not recognised”, this was the number the FFC Ticket Office gave out for Phone Bookings through Ticketmaster.

Over in Worcester Park, a third member of the congregation was attempting online and phoned purchase, here’s an extract of a later email from Steve:

  1. What a stressful day.  Tried phoning at 10am and after 42 attempts of an engaged tone, gave up as a waste of time.  Adrian was able to get into my account, as he was at home, to find very little tickets left!  However, we have managed to get 5 tickets in 505 I think and just grateful that I am able to be going.  All morning I have been thinking, will not be able to go and if I don't, I was going to start to doubt my sanity.....am a lot calmer now, but they (Ticketmaster) don't half put us through it.  Let's hope the game will be less stressful:)”

And in the New Forest, yet another of the Old Firm was unfortunately not there, he’d elected to visit Italy some time ago because when he analysed the fixtures, he was convinced that if we hadn’t overhauled Colins’s Cloggers, the date for Final Tickets would fall before today!



This is not going to be a rant, honest! Frankly, it’s a given that any service industry professional will tell you that those on the butt end of it are always the fall guys and that is so true, however this mob are coining it for a substandard service



Sadly for Pete+, his only connection to the internet happens in his favourite bar (I’d call that good fortune!) so his ability to get tickets is rather limited, the following are emails that poured in:

  1. “11:09 16/05/18
    Im really stuck. Trying to get my 3. No joy
    Sent from AOL Mobile Mail

  2. 11:12 16/05/18
    Sent from AOL Mobile Mail

  3. 11:33 16/05/18
    Nightmare! About to give up
    Sent from AOL Mobile Mail

  4. Joyous joy!! After 2 hours on line l now have tickets! Area XXX row 5 seats xxx, xxx, xxx. Now celebrating with a glass of prosecco!
    Sent from AOL Mobile Mail

And so on, I received so many, from various sufferers, there’s no room for individual cases here, that’s not te point, there is a constant theme here.

I humbly admit that I was prepared for all this agony because I know that I am but one of all of those season ticket holders desperate to see the SuperWhites at Wembley, old codgers like me still bather in that magical but disappointing day in May back in 1975.  By the way, who knows how many 2017-18 season ticket holders there are, I couldn’t find this out earlier, why?

If there are 6.500 of us and everybody wants 5 to include all those lapsed ‘fans’, out of the woodwork pals, glory hunters etc, those 38,000 tickets won’t go far, personally, I’d be surprised if 20,000 tickets are sold for our lot.

I do not ask for or expect special treatment but here’s the rub, up in Bristol and over in Twickenham were two of my Fulham Coterie attempting the to buy tickets by the very same means.

Twickenham won, by 10:15 Kev had purchased his allocation, he contacted me around 10:20 and tried to offer advice but I was in the online queue on 2 devices and Rio was likewise hanging on in Bristol.

Both my sessions time out at 10:50 so I started over, Kevin again contacted me and he was still logged on, he asked “My Brother still has his allocation unused, do you want me to get you guys, guess what, our tickets were purchased by him, my login still only just showing about 10% on Mac and Windows, up in Bristol, the same story and neither of us actually got through on the phone line!. How can that be right?

Fulham FC and Ticketmaster, sort this out before next season, I will be totaling up my ‘phone bills and claiming that all back, 7p per minute plus network charges, that’s a nice little earner for holding us all hostage, what a cheek, it’s not freefone after all!

'I hope Fulham do them!'
Fans react as Aston Villa reach the Championship play-off final

The Cottagers appear to be the popular choice when it comes to who supporters want to see win the showdown at Wembley

ByGreg JohnsonEditor Football London

22:12, 15 MAY 2018

Aston Villa and Fulham are both now just one win away from a return to the Premier League.

Victory for Steve Bruce's side in the first leg of their Championship play-off semi-final proved to be enough to see off Middlesbrough whose negative approach in the deciding half of the tie left them unable to come back from a 1-0 loss at the Riverside.

Slavisa Jokanovic's side beat Derby County 2-1 in the other pair of matches, losing in the opening leg before roaring back with two goals at home to secure a place in the Wembley finale later this month.

Both Craven Cottage and Villa Park saw pitch invasions at full-time as their fans were overcome with excitement over their chances of winning a place in the Premier League for next season.


Fulham owner Shahid Khan has no doubt that Ryan Sessegnon is ready for the England senior side footballlondon

Keep up to date with the latest news, features and exclusive from football.london via the free football.london app for iPhone and Android.

Available to download from the App Store and Google Play.



The incredible story of Steven and Ryan Sessegnon, the Fulham twins with the world at their feet


Aston Villa star slams Fulham for 'celebrating like they won the league' after semi-final win


Fulham vs Aston Villa play-off final: Early team news, odds, live stream information and more


'I hope Fulham do them!' - Fans react as Aston Villa reach the Championship play-off final


From 17th to Wembley - How Fulham turned their season round to reach the play-offs



Why Manuel Pellegrini could be the perfect fit as West Ham manager


The incredible story of Steven and Ryan Sessegnon, the Fulham twins with the world at their feet


QPR appoint former Newcastle and Middlesbrough boss Steve McClaren as new manager

Yet it appears that Fulham may hold the advantage over Villa in the hearts and minds of some neutrals.

According to the reaction on social media, some supporters are hoping that the Cottagers thrash the former European champions in the play-off decider on May 26.


Here's a selection of the best reactions following Aston Villa's
1-0 aggregate win over Middlesbrough.




This sums it all up really, another reason footballers should probably be avoided by ‘the press’ for words of wisdom, no need to say more!

Conor Hourihane claims Fulham fanfare has already fired-up Aston Villa ahead of Championship play-off final

By Matt Maher | Aston Villa | Published: 13 hours ago

Conor Hourihane claims Fulham’s wild dressing room celebrations have already helped fire-up Villa ahead of the Championship play-off final.

Cliché after cliché, more nonsense spread like muck over a barren field, the webernet is full of vacuous tosh like this.

Read more at unenlightening, generic footballer speak here nothing more!


This is something of a contrast to the after match pitch antics at Craven Cottage


West Midlands Police have issued a warning to Aston Villa fans who ran on the pitch after the club's victory over Middlesbrough.

They have warned fans that they will be studying CCTV footage to identify fans doing more than just entering the field of play.

In a strongly worded message on social media, they stated that some fans could be hit with a Football Banning Order or a three-year ban from the club.

They explained on Twitter: "CCTV and EGT footage as well as Sky footage will be checked and any person identified doing more than entering the pitch ie goading Middlesbrough Fans or holding Pyro will be invited for interview and receive an FBO and or 3 yr club ban."

When asked if they condoned the invasion of the pitch, they replied:

"Not condoning it but haven’t got resources to deal with thousands so have to be realistic about prosecution. We will publish images in the press of persons we are unable to identify."

"One male was arrested last night on the pitch with a pyro, this individual will likely face a 3 year FBO and or a 3 year club ban which will now pre close him from Wembley."