There’s only one F in Fulham

The Fulham Fanzine


What the Media says
The Fulham Supporters' Trust
Craven Cottage
Match Reviews
A TOOFIF miscellany
We can dream
Fulham Web Fallout
Fulham Faces


Although the relaunched TOOFIF site is only a few weeks old

It has now been re-designed and re-launched anew!

billp TOOFIF Monday,10 May 2018

YUP, Fulham FC're Back in the Prem'

Premier League update

billp TOOFIF Site updated Thursday, 31 May 2018 21:57


This is not going to be a rant, honest! Frankly, it's a given that any service industry professional will tell you that those on the butt end of it are always the fall guys and that is so true, however this mob are coining it for a substandard service

billp TOOFIF Monday,17 May 2018

Any of us with a history of attending football games will testify that whatever the occasion, the purchase of a ticket will never be a one minute affair, and the bigger the game, the longer the wait and the bigger the aggravation.

Just ask Sandra Cole and Tracy and any FFC Ticket Office personnel from the last couple of decades if you want to hear how stressful it is from the other side of the counter, it's even worse!

However, ever since we've had to use Ticketmaster for away tickets, Cup tickets etc, I have never had a clear run, everybody in my Fulham circle have expressed exactly the same woes.

The Hamburg Final was a good example and I forget how much my phone bill was after al the lengthy hanging on the line, home phone batteries expiring, mobile signal dropping, home line dropped connections, queue waiting and so I went through before I got a ticket fro one of my sons.

I'd got my mob's tickets at the Ticket Office in a jiffy, Simon hadn't informed me he had arranged time off until I came home with the other tickets! It was a costly, time consuming and wasteful process.

it has become even worse, I've missed out on Reading Playoff semi final away tickets, Birmingham away League tickets, you name it I've suffered like so many.

The Loyalty Points System is as about as fair a way of allocating tickets for special games as there is, no argument there but the actual process of acquiring those tickets doesn't seem adequate.

For instance, I am lucky in that I have access to Windows PCs, Macs , various 'phones and I run every one simultaneously  when applying for tickets.

This morning I logged on and phoned at 09:30, then re-applied each time I was thwarted because I was too early, at 10:00, the Mac had started exactly the same time as Windows 10. 10:30 arrived and the Macs till had two thirds of the Circular timeline graphic filled, Windows 10 running on the Mac under an emulation software had around 5 minutes remaining. Both of these then rendered a message telling me the session had timed out.

All this while, Mobile and Landline consistently told me “Call Failed”/”Number not recognised”, this was the number the FFC Ticket Office gave out for Phone Bookings through Ticketmaster.

Over in Worcester Park, a third member of the congregation was attempting online and phoned purchase, here's an extract of a later email from

“What a stressful day.  Tried phoning at 10am and after 42 attempts of an engaged tone, gave up as a waste of time.  Adrian was able to get into my account, as he was at home, to find very little tickets left!  However, we have managed to get 5 tickets in 505 I think and just grateful that I am able to be going.  

All morning I have been thinking, will not be able to go and if I don't, I was going to start killing.....am a lot calming now, but they don't half put us through it.  Let's hope the game will be less stressful:)”

And in the New Forest, yet another of the Old Firm was unfortunately not there, he'd elected to visit Italy some time ago because when he analysed the fixtures, he was convinced that if we hadn't overhauled Colins's Cloggers, the date for Final Tickets would fall before today!

Sadly for Pete+, his only connection to the internet happens in his favourite bar (I'd call that good fortune!) so his ability to get tickets is rather limited, the following are emails that poured in:

11:09 16/05/18

Im really stuck. Trying to get my 3. No joy

Sent from AOL Mobile Mail

11:12 16/05/18


Sent from AOL Mobile Mail

11:33 16/05/18

Nightmare! About to give up

Sent from AOL Mobile Mail

13:45 16/05/18

Joyous joy!! After 2 hours on line l now have tickets! Area XXX row 5 seats xxx, xxx, xxx. Now celebrating with a glass of prosecco!

Sent from AOL Mobile Mail

I humbly admit that I was prepared for all this agony because I know that I am but one of all of those season ticket holders desperate to see the SuperWhites at Wembley, old codgers like me still bather in that magical but disappointing day in May back in 1975.  

By the way, who knows how many 2017-18 season ticket holders there are, I couldn't find this out earlier, why?

If there are 6.500 of us and everybody wants 5 for all those lapsed 'fans', out of the woodwork pals, glory hunters etc, those 38,000 tickets won't go far, personally, I'd be surprised if 20,000 tickets are sold for our lot.

I do not ask for or expect special treatment but here's the rub, up in Bristol and over in Twickenham were two of my Fulham Coterie attempting the to buy tickets by the very same means.

Twickenham won, by 10:15 Kev had purchased his allocation, he contacted me around 10:20 and tried to offer advice but I was in the queue on 2 device and Rio was likewise hanging on in Bristol.

Both my sessions time out at 10:50 so I started over,.

Kevin again contacted me and he was still logged on, he asked “My Brother still has his allocation unused, do you want me to get you guys".

Guess what, our tickets were purchased by him, my login still only just showing about 10% on Mac and Windows, up in Bristol, the same story and neither of us actually got through on the phone line!. How can that be right?

Fulham FC and Ticketmaster, sort this out before next season, I will be totaling up my 'phone bills and claiming that all back, what a cheek, it's not freefone!

This sums it all up really, another reason footballers should probably be avoided by ‘the press’ for words of wisdom, no need to say more!

Conor Hourihane claims Fulham fanfare has already fired-up Aston Villa ahead of Championship play-off final

Thankfully, these words came back to kick him right up the Hourihanes!

By Matt Maher | Aston Villa | Published: 13 hours ago

Conor Hourihane claims Fulham’s wild dressing room celebrations have already helped fire-up Villa ahead of the Championship play-off final.

Cliché after cliché, more nonsense spread like muck over a barren field, the webernet is full of vacuous tosh like this.

From the local Birmingham rag, read more at unenlightening, generic footballer speak here nothing more!


This is something of a contrast to the after match pitch antics at Craven Cottage, also from the Birmingham Evening Mail

billp TOOFIF Monday, 21 May 2018


West Midlands Police have issued a warning to Aston Villa fans who ran on the pitch after the club's victory over Middlesbrough.

They have warned fans that they will be studying CCTV footage to identify fans doing more than just entering the field of play.

In a strongly worded message on social media, they stated that some fans could be hit with a Football Banning Order or a three-year ban from the club.

They explained on Twitter: "CCTV and EGT footage as well as Sky footage will be checked and any person identified doing more than entering the pitch ie goading Middlesbrough Fans or holding Pyro will be invited for interview and receive an FBO and or 3 yr club ban."

When asked if they condoned the invasion of the pitch, they replied:

"Not condoning it but haven’t got resources to deal with thousands so have to be realistic about prosecution. We will publish images in the press of persons we are unable to identify."

"One male was arrested last night on the pitch with a pyro, this individual will likely face a 3 year FBO and or a 3 year club ban which will now pre close him from Wembley."


'I hope Fulham do them!'
Fans react as Aston Villa reach the Championship play-off final

The Cottagers appear to be the popular choice when it comes to who supporters want to see win the showdown at Wembley

ByGreg Johnson Editor Football London

22:12, 15 MAY 2018

Aston Villa and Fulham are both now just one win away from a return to the Premier League.

Victory for Steve Bruce's side in the first leg of their Championship play-off semi-final proved to be enough to see off Middlesbrough whose negative approach in the deciding half of the tie left them unable to come back from a 1-0 loss at the Riverside.

Slavisa Jokanovic's side beat Derby County 2-1 in the other pair of matches, losing in the opening leg before roaring back with two goals at home to secure a place in the Wembley finale later this month.

Both Craven Cottage and Villa Park saw pitch invasions at full-time as their fans were overcome with excitement over their chances of winning a place in the Premier League for next season.

Fulham owner Shahid Khan has no doubt that Ryan Sessegnon is ready for the England senior side footballlondon

Keep up to date with the latest news, features and exclusive from football.london via the free football.london app for iPhone and Android.

Available to download from the App Store and Google Play.


The incredible story of Steven and Ryan Sessegnon, the Fulham twins with the world at their feet


Aston Villa star slams Fulham for 'celebrating like they won the league' after semi-final win


Fulham vs Aston Villa play-off final: Early team news, odds, live stream information and more


'I hope Fulham do them!' - Fans react as Aston Villa reach the Championship play-off final


From 17th to Wembley - How Fulham turned their season round to reach the play-offs



Why Manuel Pellegrini could be the perfect fit as West Ham manager


The incredible story of Steven and Ryan Sessegnon, the Fulham twins with the world at their feet


QPR appoint former Newcastle and Middlesbrough boss Steve McClaren as new manager

Yet it appears that Fulham may hold the advantage over Villa in the hearts and minds of some neutrals.

According to the reaction on social media, some supporters are hoping that the Cottagers thrash the former European champions in the play-off decider on May 26.

Ryan celebrates after his Derby home tie strike

It might not look like it but the new site is now active and this is it, the buttons are now coded so ought to work on all browsers.

Fulham starlet Ryan Sessegnon 'washed and ironed his own kit'

after being left stranded following an evening game, CEO reveals ahead of play-off final clash with Aston Villa

• Fulham take on Aston Villa for a place in the Premier League on Saturday

• Ryan Sessegnon has been one of the standouts for Slavisa Jokanovic's side

• Fulham CEO Alistair Mackintosh praised the starlet's attitude on and off the pitch

By Daniel Matthews For Mailonline

PUBLISHED: 11:50, 23 May 2018 | UPDATED: 12:50, 23 May 2018

Ryan Sessegnon is one of the brightest prospects in English football with Premier League clubs queuing up to secure his signature.

But the teenager does not appear to be letting his success this season go to his head.

Sessegnon and Fulham take on Aston Villa for a place in the top flight on Saturday and ahead of the game†Fulham CEO Alistair Mackintosh revealed a hilarious story that shows how grounded the starlet remains.

'On one occasion this season, Ryan Sessegnon had a doping test after a night game,' he told the Supporters Trust AGM on Tuesday. 'When he was done everyone had gone, the kit man included. So Sessegnon took his kit home, washed and ironed it before bringing it in the next day!' The comical anecdote came as Mackintosh praised the young player's attitude both on and off the pitch.

Sessegnon has scored 16 goals and racked up seven assists for Slavisa Jokanovic's side so far this season and was an outside bet for Gareth Southgate's England squad for this summer's World Cup. He missed out on the final 23 but could still finish the season with promotion to the Premier League. Fulham and Villa collide at Wembley on Saturday in the money-spinning play-off final.

Tottenham and Liverpool are among the clubs who have been linked with a summer move for the 18-year-old, while Paris Saint-Germain are reportedly interested, (Ed: as well as Uncle Tom Cobley and all!).

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-5761743/Sessegnon-washed-ironed-kit-left-stranded-game.html#ixzz5GKgMD3vl

Ryan, he's playing for Tottenham UnitedpoolSG next season apparently

No apologies, there's no real

news to report

Just the usual completely invented, hypothetical, speculative,

unimaginative, fantasy, space filling nonsense, as the following show:

billp TOOFIF Wednesday, 23 May 2018

Ah, now there's some news

We're back in the Prem'

After all the waiting, THAT day was suddenly here, the big test, the crunch game that would mean triumph and glory, a brave new world for Fulham. Or the usual Fulhamish failure at the last hurdle, another year in the Championship, all the team sold on and tour manager crossing over to the Fulham Broadway club.

In other words, the usual pessimism and doubt was beginning to take hold. For every optimist there was a naysayer, personally, as a life-long sufferer, I have always flitted between these two modes on a minute by minute basis, however, despite the obvious misgivings, I was feeling buoyantly optimistic as I made my way to Motspur Park to chill out.

On the bright side, the morning had developed from a damp and overcast bearing to brilliant, burning sunshine in a cloud free sky, oh yes it was hot, very hot!

That turned out to be an inaccurate expectation due to the intense sunshine and that the Earl Beatty was not due to open until midday, I was unaware of the latter detail while I was travelling but on hearing the news, just as I left Motspur Park Station, I thought, "Oh well, now I'll not have to spend two and a quarter hours in the pub, a pity but what can one do?".

As I had the tickets for the Devon contingent with me and as they had complicated plans once they'd arrived at Motspur Parlk, I just had to grin and bear it, it was this which had neccesitated an 11:00 am meet-up

The first spanner in the works came in the form of a 'phone call from one of the three Devonians, they'd just broken down on the slipway between the M£ and M25. My early start was now a completely unecessary enterprise, then we discovered the Beatty's opening time! Cue sitting on a bench getting burned to a cinder, then 45 minutes outside a nearby cafe doing likewise. Not the most auspicious start to the day, could this all point to being a bad omen?

Suffice to say that we all met up, in tandem with other regular match mates with time enough to enjoy a bite and a drink before all setting off on our various journies. This time the time it took to get to Wembley was not quite as long as the trip to the Derby Play-off semi (read further below for that) but was still a bit of a mystery tour through Roehampton, Putney, Hammersmith Broadway, Westway to arrive at the North Circular bvia the Hangar Lane Gyratoty, at least we arrived at the Wembley complex with oodles of time to meet others, wander around and generally soak up this historic day.

Now all we had to do was wait in the customary Fulhamish fashion, hypothesise about the various ways that it would all end in tears, while I was cautiously optimistic, I still harbour that shadow of doubt when the big ones come around, would it be a repeat of 1975?

Well we all know the answer to that now! A biased and very compact match report follows on the Match Review page


Here's a selection of the best twit reactions following Aston Villa's

1-0 aggregate win over Middlesbrough.  

Well we all know the answer to that now! A biased and very compact match report follows on the Match Review page

Now all we had to do was wait in the customary Fulhamish fashion, hypothesise about  the various ways that it would all end in tears, while I was cautiously optimistic, I still harbour that shadow of doubt when the big ones come around, would it be a repeat of 1975.

Well we all know the answer to that now! A biased and very compact match report follows on the Match Review page.

A small comment on the lack of coverage after the Playoff Final

billp TOOFIF Monday, 28 May 2018 12:22

Since Sunday, all the coverage I've found has been about a losing Northern English team in Europe.

I fully get that in respect that Liverpool were in the final of the most important club football competition in the world but that there was hardly a shred about Villa and Fulham was a little surprising.
In a sense, that sums up the media and their disdain for the 'little teams' and let's face it, it has been a feature of our club since Fayed's involvement.

I was not really surprised as all we usually get featured for in the tabloids (including the Tabloid TV) is when there's a negative story or about which of our players are being sold off, the 'Big Club' the manager is off to manage or what fishy business the owner is into, the latter being about the current Wembly sell-off. No doubt when we win games next sweason, it'll be about the bad luck of our opponents etc.

I just wonder whether the printed media and airwaves would have been this empty if Villa had won.

Nothing to report this week

Ryan Fredericks is heading to West Ham but he is unlikely to be joined by Fulham teammate Tom Cairney, according to a broadcaster.

TalkSPORT journalist Ian Abrahams, who is a reliable source of information about the club he supports, claimed on his personal Twitter account on Thursday afternoon that the signing of Fredericks is all but done.

Abrahams reported he is “looking forward” to seeing the right-back in a Hammers shirt next season and hailed him as a “massive talent” but insists he does not expect Cairney to swap Craven Cottage for the London Stadium.

Hammers fans used to mixed and occasionally wretched transfer market activity from their club would probably happily accept the capture of just one of the two key men in Fulham’s promotion-winning campaign. Certainly, Fredericks is a far simpler deal to get done. There is reported interest from rival Premier League clubs, but the Spurs academy product is out of contract next month and can be signed on a free transfer.

By contrast, playmaker Cairney – who was named alongside Fredericks in the Championship team of the season – would cost a fee of £20million-plus. He is a fine player who oozes class and creativity, but would West Ham boss Manuel Pellegrini be willing to spend a big chunk of his summer kitty on a player unproven in the Premier League? Possibly not. At least with Fredericks, there is little in the way of risk or huge financial outlay, although he will no doubt secure a sizeable signing-on fee and salary.

Moose Claims FREDERICKS is a done deal!!!!!!!

Date: 31st May 2018 at 2:27pm    Written by: Wayne Howard from a West Ham fan site, writing old stuff that's been bubbling since the year dot!

Apart from the usual rot: "West Ham Expert" gets selfie with Ryan Fredericks, this is one of the worst kept 'exclusives' ever.

Shock Horror, Barry Hayles to rejoin Fulham to replace Fredericks at right back

billp TOOFIF Thursday, 31 May 2018 21:58

Well, that's an easy game to play and not exactly a secret, Fredericks has been likely to move all season and he obviously fancies an interesting season with the Irons, and don't forget we bought Cyrus Christie as more than capable cover. There's no doubt he's served us well and if the move comes off, I'm sure everyone will wish him well.

Anyway here's a TOOFIF take on a selfie situation which happened prior to the Payoff (apologies, a Freudian Slip, I meant 'Playoff'!) Final at Wembley.

To see Barry Hales at Wembley meandering around the concourse under Block 122 was a wonderful surprise, there he was soaking up the atmosphere and more than willing to chat to those of us in search of a cooling beer.

You'd never believe that our firm Fulham Favourite is 46 years old as he looked as fit as a butcher's dog, no wonder he still turns out to play, for his current club Windsor, as player/coach. He thought it was hilarious that we used to refer to him as Harry Bayles incidentally and no, he's staying put, he'll not be coming back!

Anyway, he told me that it was fantastic to see the team playing these days and that it was a marvellous thing to see them at the National Stadium, one game away from a possible return to the Premiership.

By the glint in his eye, you could see that he wished he could have turned out for the team to play in the Final and you know what, I reckon if he had, he'd have turned JT inside out and nicked a couple of goals! What a lovely bloke!

Harry Bayles with a couple of old blokes underneath the stand at Wembley.